The way you can stop fighting with your kids over homework every night is to stop fighting with them tonight. Keep reading for some concrete tips to help you guide them in their work without having to nag, threaten, or fight with them.Īlso, keep in mind that if you carry more of the worry, fear, disappointments, and concern than your child does about their work, ask yourself, “What’s wrong with this picture, and how did this happen?” Remember, as long as you carry their concerns, they don’t have to. I believe that children are motivated-they just may not be motivated the way you’d like them to be. I can’t motivate him to do anything.” Many parents tell me that their children are not motivated to do their work. You might be thinking to yourself, “You don’t know my child. But what you can do is to set limits, respect their individual choices, and help motivate them to motivate themselves. The hard truth for parents is that you cannot make your children do anything, let alone homework. Now the battle is in full swing: reactivity is heightened as anxiety is elevated-and homework gets lost in the shuffle. Or, and this is common, parents will over-function for their kids by doing the work for them. Some parents stop trying altogether to get their children to do homework. When this starts happening, parents feel more and more out of control, so they punish, nag, threaten, and argue. These are just a few ways that kids try to hold onto the little control they have. Your child might forget to do their homework, do their homework but not hand it in, do it sloppily or carelessly, or not study properly for their test.
Over the years, I’ve talked to many parents who are in the trenches with their kids, and I’ve seen firsthand that there are many creative ways kids rebel when it comes to schoolwork.
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